You know I believe, that we are meant to be

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

(If you remember this)

How many times do we get hurt? How many times do we have to make tough decision? Lastly, how much time are we even left to be together like we used to. Perhaps, its not much now that things have changed. Here I am, ranting every single thoughts of mine up on this hill. I wished I died, leaving every single things that keep on leaving me one by one. Im left with nothing cause I realize i've lost much of my life.

This time, I feel half happy, half sad. Happy is, I get a feel of something which most people probably don't want to be. Being unable to stand on your own feet is something most speaks saying it's easy if you think positively. But when you're really facing it, then you'll realize the difference between speaking and facing it. It's not easy but maybe I am enjoying every single bit of it. Sad thing is, much money is wasted when I don't even want to make an effort of going therapy and think of getting well soon. I feel good this way. Let others say whatever they want about me. Cause I still feel good this way, maybe. I still thank mummy&daddy for every cents. For every thing they tried to make me change my mind. But you know I still won't. Im appreciating what God had given me to face at this point of time. Be it good, be it bad. Only God knows what I needed most now, my pillar of strength.

Even at times like this, im trying every effort not to make a fuss over anything. But you did. Don't you think of anything before starting? I feel very disappointed that every single word from you from the beginning have changed. Our love was a lie. You must be glad that you punished me and return me with something after all i've done like as if my mistakes were intolerable. You're really something. Someone whom I love really much. Hoping not to end myself in regrets. Forget it. I love you and I do miss you. I know you don't.

Nights, i'll be making this blog private really soon.

Thanks for every get well soon texts, balloons, giant cards and anything else I received including the hardships im facing.

♥ L i s h a ♥